Dreams of the Day

It is apparent that my whim of supporting my good friend, Esther by entertaining her through blog posts was pretty short-lived. There is a proverb in Malay that goes, “Hangat-hangat tahi ayam.” I am reluctant to explain the meaning but I will anyway, since I want people to learn new things through my blog. The proverb directly translate to, “As hot as a chicken’s excrement/discharge goes.”

Well, as some may or may not know, a chicken’s excrement tend to be very hot the moment it comes out of the chicken. But the heat won’t last very long. So there, try to connect the meaning yourself. I refuse to liken my situation to chicken poop anymore.

Disagree? Let’s see.

I’m sure most of you heard of Humpty Dumpty before. What is the first thing that comes to mind when you picture Mr. Dumpty? 

C’mon, admit it, you always thought he was an egg.  Now, let us see the rhyme again.

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall,

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,

All the king’s horses and all the king’s men,

Couldn’t put Humpty together again.

See? There is nothing that says Mr. Dumpty was an egg. ENGLISH.

Irrelevant you say? This is nothing. This is just the tip of the iceberg.

I have much more where that came from. *Takes a deeeeeeep breath*

There is no egg in eggplant.

A pineapple ain't a pine nor is it an apple.

Quicksand actually works pretty slowly.

Boxing rings are not rings at all, they are square!

Even the animal namings are messed up. Bad.

Seen a Guinea Pig? It's not a pig nor does it come from Guinea. Its a rodent.

By right, the young of a kangaroo should be called a rooster but they had to call it a Joey. The young of a rooster is called a chick even though it is a male.

One goose, two geese. One moose? Two meese?

And chickens go,"Pork, pork."

Sometimes, English plays around with word that confuses people. For what reason, nobody knows? Just to torture us, maybe?

You see, in what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

Or ship by a truck and send cargo by a ship?

How about having noses that run and feet that smell?

Parking at driveways and driving at parkways?

Good Lord, the contradictions are stupendous.

A wise man and a wise guy have opposite meanings.

But a fat chance and a slim one have the exact same meaning.

How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell on another?

The human race isn't really a race at all.

So, Esther, your Facebook fasting is about to be over. I hope this post can fulfil my aim of entertaining you but if you read it after your fast is over, too bad.

Now, for one last English mess-up,

“When I wind up my watch, I start it. But when I wind up this post, it ends.”

Which I will wind up right now.

Toodles.